The words chosen by Sue for the month of May are: FIVE, MOTHER, RECIPE, AND REMEMBER. She must have some sort of other-worldly sixth sense to pull these together as they fit perfectly as I weave my story.
My mother left the United States almost four years ago now. She returned to her native Germany to care for, love and watch over her mother, my Oma, who is now 93 years old. I never thought too much about my mom as a whole person until I became a mother four years ago, the same summer that she left. I never gave much consideration to her as an individual with her own needs and dreams, triumphs and tragedies. She was just "my mom". Now I see her for who she really is and really was as I was growing up. A woman just like me, an individual person who wears many hats.
Becoming a parent and rearing my daughter has brought back countless memories of my own childhood and given me an opportunity to remember precious moments of growing up that I'd long thought forgotten,
My mom became the matriarch of our family of five when she was just twenty-one. She moved with my father, a Canadian air force pilot, to the middle of the cold, vast prairie lands of Canada. She didn't speak English. She knew no one. Here she is on her wedding day with my Aunt, whom she had just met and who offered to be her maid of honor. (thank you Aunt Carol for your kindness) She brought with her a suitcase, my Oma's mouth-watering German recipes and a fierce desire to build a life.
" Doing the best she could" now holds meaning for me that it didn't prior to becoming a mother myself. I must say, my mom sure never served us Mac-n-cheese for dinner but I do. She baked from scratch daily for our after-school treats; I don't. Our house was spotless; mine is a mess.
Although it's an often heard phrase, there really isn't a harder job than parenting. It comes with no manual, it is non-stop, it is the most emotionally charged and physically demanding relationship anyone will ever know. It holds with it the most incredible rewards and gut-wrenching pain. It is the best I've ever been and the most motivated to be better.
me and my Oma, my daughter and hers - same steps 40 years apart
Today my mom often says that she'd do things differently if she could. I'm glad she shares her insights, her perceived shortcomings, but mostly her vulnerability as a mother with me. From her I've learned that although we make mistakes in our parenting, the love that a mother has for her child is like no other. It is complete, enduring and pure. I have no recipe to follow other than the example of my mother, the woman, the parent, my mom. Happy Mother's Day meine susse Mutti! Ich liebe Dich.
Mom at the market in Germany
Me in my turn as Mother
One Community is
a monthly photo project in which participants photograph their homes
and community with a theme in mind. The theme varies by month. The goal
is to both showcase similarities and differences in our communities
worldwide – and bring us all closer together in understanding through
art.
